{"id":1895,"date":"2013-11-28T11:26:43","date_gmt":"2013-11-28T10:26:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/landsbytossen.dk\/?p=1895"},"modified":"2013-12-05T10:34:19","modified_gmt":"2013-12-05T09:34:19","slug":"knaldroman-nr-5","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/landsbytossen.dk\/?p=1895","title":{"rendered":"Knaldroman nr. 5"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Phyllisroman\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cUUUUUUUUUUUUH!\u201d Genf\u00e6rdet rejste sig i sin fulde positur, forn\u00e6rmet og falskspillende p\u00e5 violin.<\/p>\n

De to ark\u00e6ologer stirrede p\u00e5 den \u00e6kle skabning. Chefen hr. Orla tog oplevelsen k\u00f8ligt, mens l\u00e6rlingen hr. Knupskud var skr\u00e6kslagen.<\/p>\n

\u201cJeg sagde jo at vi ikke skulle fjerne artefaktet fra grevens gravkammer.\u201d L\u00e6rlingen sk\u00e6lvede. Hans benkl\u00e6der gennembl\u00f8dtes af urin.<\/p>\n

Den rutinerede Hr. Orla holdt triumferende den nyerhvervede forgyldte penisprotese i h\u00e6nderne.<\/p>\n

“Har De spist s\u00f8m? Vi st\u00e5r med grev Stracheldraht af Holstebros mest v\u00e6rdifulde fallossymbol. Har De t\u00e6nkt Dem at lade en genganger s\u00e6tte en k\u00e6p i hjulet for vores penisudstilling?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMit liv er vigtigere end museet!\u201d Hr. Knupskuds t\u00e6nder klaprede som et s\u00e6t kastagnetter.<\/p>\n

\u201cVisse vasse, kn\u00e6gt. Hold Dem blot for \u00f8rerne og ignorer ham, s\u00e5 opgiver han s\u00e5m\u00e6nd til sidst.\u201d<\/p>\n

Grev Stracheldrahts sp\u00f8gelse hv\u00e6ssede til tonerne af strygerens umusikalske kattejammer:\u00a0\u201cVagt i gev\u00e6r, vaaaagt iiii gev\u00e6\u00e6\u00e6\u00e6\u00e6r!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKom, vi skal videre.\u201d Den \u00e6ldste ark\u00e6olog vendte ryggen til greven og spadserede mod jernl\u00e5gen.<\/p>\n

Et \u00f8jeblik senere stivnede han i ren og sk\u00e6r d\u00f8dsangst, da \u00e5nden pludseligt frembragte\u00a0Dybb\u00f8l m\u00f8lle maler stadig(*). Hurtigere, h\u00f8jere og stadigt mere falsk. Fiolen sitrede.<\/p>\n

\u00bbDannevang har mange slags profeter…\u00ab\u00a0gjaldede greven\u00a0ubarmhjertigt.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u00c5h, nej, ikke den,\u201d jamrede hr Orla og stirrede p\u00e5 den uhyggelige \u00e5nd, der taktfast fortsatte schlageren. \u201cVi m\u00e5 levere protesen tilbage, ellers lever vi ikke meget l\u00e6ngere …\u201d<\/p>\n

(* Fodnote: Musikalsk r\u00e6dselsdokumentationsmateriale her<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Forrige kalenderblad
\n<\/a>N\u00e6ste kalenderblad<\/a><\/p>\n

Spring til kalenderblad nr.
\n1<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a02<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a03<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a04<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a05<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a06<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a07<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a08<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a09<\/a>\u00a0\u00a010<\/a>\u00a0\u00a011<\/a>\u00a0\u00a012<\/a>\u00a0\u00a013<\/a>
\n<\/strong>14<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>15<\/a>\u00a0\u00a016<\/a>\u00a0\u00a017<\/a>\u00a0\u00a018<\/a>\u00a0\u00a019<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>20<\/a>\u00a0\u00a021<\/a>\u00a0\u00a022<\/a>\u00a0\u00a023<\/a>\u00a0\u00a024<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cUUUUUUUUUUUUH!\u201d Genf\u00e6rdet rejste sig i sin fulde positur, forn\u00e6rmet og falskspillende p\u00e5 violin. De to ark\u00e6ologer stirrede p\u00e5 den \u00e6kle skabning. Chefen hr. Orla tog oplevelsen k\u00f8ligt, mens l\u00e6rlingen hr. Knupskud var skr\u00e6kslagen. \u201cJeg sagde jo at vi ikke skulle fjerne artefaktet fra grevens gravkammer.\u201d L\u00e6rlingen sk\u00e6lvede. Hans benkl\u00e6der gennembl\u00f8dtes af urin. Den rutinerede Hr. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[377,97,7],"tags":[378,379,22],"class_list":["post-1895","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-julekalender2013","category-kultur","category-ranke-personligheder","tag-julekalender","tag-knaldroman","tag-knockel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/landsbytossen.dk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1895","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/landsbytossen.dk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/landsbytossen.dk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/landsbytossen.dk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/landsbytossen.dk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1895"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"http:\/\/landsbytossen.dk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1895\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2021,"href":"http:\/\/landsbytossen.dk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1895\/revisions\/2021"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/landsbytossen.dk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1895"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/landsbytossen.dk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1895"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/landsbytossen.dk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1895"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}